Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
