im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
