Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We need to rekindle our bromance
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
