you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
