i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
