i can't believe i had my finger in that
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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