I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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