There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
