3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
