I think I died a long time ago.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
