This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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