forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
