and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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