Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
