is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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