Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I didn't shave. On purpose
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize