She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
