i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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