But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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