DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
