Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
