3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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