she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
