3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
