He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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