I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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