I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Terrible idea I love it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
