??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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