guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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