be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
