do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Randomize
