i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
