I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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