ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
