"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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