So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
