You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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