I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
