it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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