on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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