Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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