I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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