U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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