No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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