Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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