redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think my nap took me to another dimension
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
