Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
