I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My ass is underappreciated
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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