An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
