the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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