He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
