Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
