we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dicks are not precious.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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