I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
