She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize