i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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