I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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