i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize