So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
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In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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