so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
