YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
